Have a Contemplative Memorial Day

This has been a joke with my friends all weekend ... how annoyed my sister and I get when people say "Happy Memorial Day!" which just sounds so weird to me considering what Memorial Day is about. So this is what we have been saying to one another. The parade today was so heartwarming. Regardless of any mistakes I have made in my life, the fact that I knew each of our veterans by name, that they know me and Eddie and waved to our girls while they were marching, made me feel like I have done something right in my life.

I thought a lot today about the turmoil I have been in about the support (or perceived lack of) that I have been feeling this week. The words of Ronald Reagan come to mind. In a speech he made on Veterans Day 1985 at Arlington National Cemetery. He said the following words:

"Sometime back I received in the name of our country the bodies of four Marines who had died while on active duty. I said then that there is a special sadness that accompanies the death of a serviceman, for we're never quite good enough to them -- not really; we can't be, because what they gave us is beyond our powers to repay. And so, when a serviceman dies, it's a tear in the fabric, a break in the whole, and all we can do is remember."

I realized at the parade today, and I think I felt it all week long that President Reagan was right ... we're never quite good enough and I think I have not wanted to come to terms with the times that I take our freedom for granted ... the times I have seen someone in uniform and looked away instead of walking up to them and saying "thank you" and all the times I take the easy way out instead of truly utilizing all the gifts that our freedom has to offer.

Today when I saw World War II veterans struggle to their feet while the rest of us sat in the shade, I could not bring them enough water. I could not say "Thank You" enough and I could not stop wishing that my entire town had come to hear them speak instead of a small portion of the whole. I realize that everything I have I owe to them. And I guess sometimes all I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and have a contemplative Memorial Day and hope that it is enough ... even though I know that it isn't.

Two more nights until Charlie's surgery. Prayers for him have been in abundance. Still to difficult to write about ... maybe tomorrow.