Not really but I may get one. She was unbelievable today on her last episode! My girls asked me what I was going to do now everyday at 4 p.m. and my oldest daughter, Madison, suggested that maybe I could clean their rooms now that I had a free hour ... NOT.
Oprah spoke the truth today to millions and millions of people. Her message, without actually saying it was: "Stop looking at me and look instead at your own life." I watched it with my girlfriend and Madison over Diet Cokes and half way through my friend said "I was uncomfortable in the beginning but this is awesome!" She was uncomfortable because growth is uncomfortable and Oprah is asking us to grow. She was so authentic and real and spoke the truth about who we are without any fluff. Brilliant. The thing I realized the most from watching the show is that her journey to this love fest has not been an easy one. She feels so loved because she has done what is necessary to really receive the love available to us -- she has let her guard down, faced her demons and allows herself to be loved. Awesome Oprah. While we were sitting there Madison said to me, "I think if Oprah met you she would really like you, Mom." Maybe I will clean her room tomorrow at 4 ...
The ceremonies today for the veterans were great. I prayed all morning to "get the mud out of my own eyes" and stop the judgment I was having toward all the people who haven't shown up to support the men. I realized that what I have to do is listen to my own teachings. I had to make the choice to live my own life in a meaningful way today instead of wanting others to behave in a particular way. "Meaningful" is a term that is different to each person and who I am to say the way it should be. I get very defensive of the veterans in a way I do not in the rest of the Heartworks opportunities. Heartworks is a chance to live a more meaningful life through receiving and giving. For the most part, Heartworks is only about doing what works for you -- we don't want you cooking a meal for someone if you hate cooking. Don't volunteer to plant flowers in someone's yard if you don't like gardening. It is about using the things you already love to do and just stretch it a bit and do it for someone else. It is all about do what you want when you want to do it -- it is not about an extra thing on your all ready full to-do list. But it feels different when it comes to the veterans. Everything we have is because of them. Everything -- the comfortable bed we don't want to get out of too early, the errands we "need" to run, the schools our kids will be late for if they come to the 8 a.m. ceremony. But this is only how I see it. It is also because of these men that other people can see it differently than I do and it's safe to have these differences!
So I knew I just had to live my life in a way that felt good to me today instead of focusing on what everyone else around me was (doing or not doing). Which is why, when I had a chance to drive Mazda home from her rehabilitation session, I said YES even though I was going to leave from a highlight with soaking wet hair. Mazda is a mom in town who had a stroke last year and has a tough time doing all the things I usually take for granted. Like talking, opening a car door and making dinner. She is beautiful and I love her. So Mary (my youngest) and I went to pick her up and drive her home before the afternoon flag ceremony. While in the car we started to talk about Oprah's last show. Mazda said in a slow and shaky voice (but not as slow as a few months ago because she is recovering more and more each day), "Oprah gives me hope." When I asked her in what way, she said, "Because I saw on her show a woman with no limbs take care of her children." Because of Oprah's fearless decision to talk about God and the difficult things in life, this woman next to me, who had her whole life change in one day, is beginning to see that she can be a great mother to her children even though her body is not working the way she wants it to. This is why I want my Oprah T-shirt.
The 4 p.m. ceremony had more people than usual because a local school came to sing, but it didn't matter. My mind felt so clear standing there with the men. I had stopped focusing out and focused in on my own life.
I was just grateful within myself to know these men and to have 10 opportunities this week to expose my children to something meaningful and important.
I was grateful that the rain has stopped and the sun is out.
Grateful that we live in a country that offers Charlie the best surgeons in the world next Wednesday when he lies on the operating table.
And that a black woman from Mississippi can go on TV and talk about God and not be arrested or killed.
Thank you, God; thank you, veterans; thank you, judgment, for teaching me again and again. My 4 o'clock will feel a bit empty on Monday without seeing the veterans or my friend, Oprah, but my girls' bedrooms can always use a good cleaning and I know now not to take this for granted either. Thank you, Mazda.
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