Later on today my very best friends from childhood will start showing up for our 25 High school reunion weekend. We will sit in the same rooms we did when we were 10 years old since I live in the house I grew up in. Last week I was putting clothes in the washing machine and I started to think of all them being here, getting ready to go to the football game, picking out our outfits the same way we did in 1987, our beers do not have to be hidden this time. I started thinking of us in our PJs eating breakfast together recapping the night before. I started to laugh....then I started to really, really laugh. All I need to throw me into a fit of crazy laughter was just the thought of the fun we are going to have. I was bent over laughing and crying just anticipating the fun...I thought how blessed I am to have this...a good laugh a week before I even see them in anticipation of our time together.
So here I am cleaning my house and getting ready for the 50 BHS graduates from the class of 1987 that will be drinking keg beer at eating pizza at my house tonight. My mother asked me if I was feeling stressed with my party planning chaos...my answer is a strong "no". Heartworks has woven its thread of perspective and gratitude through me that saves me from the stress I used to live in on a daily bases. Today I am thinking of another family, just a few miles from my house. Annemarie, mother of 4 kids, passed away the day before yesterday from Breast Cancer that spread throughout her body. She has been to a few Heartworks meetings and I met her when she came to help at our annual garage sale in May. We talked about how she loved our mission and how she was going to be such a part of the group when she felt better. Her family is getting ready to go to her wake today. Her high school friends are picking out an outfit to wear to say goodbye to her. Food is bring prepared to feed the people she loved most in the world. The fact that I can't find the perfect bowl to put my crab dip in is not on my radar the way it would have been years ago.
I sat with my dear father-in-law this week, having a tough conversation about the future...about how we will live and remember him "after he is gone"....my love for this man runs deep and this talk was not easy, but necessary. I told him that my girls will be raised remembering him, loving him and every time we are together as a family we will celebrate his life.
He paused for a few minutes. Cleared his throat and said "And laugh...have lots of laughs."
It is difficult to focus on other things, knowing that our time with him is limited. I want to just sit with him, hold his hand, tell him I lobe him over and over again. It feels challenging to care about what I am wearing tonight with Annemarie's little 12 year old daughter sitting with her brothers and dad today without Annemarie. But the truth is, life is filled with contradictions and everyday is someone's best day and someone's worse day. So if today is one of my best, I am going to live it to the fullest and not take it for granted or loose sight of it over a bowl or a dirty kitchen or 10 extra pounds as I pull on my jeans later today. In honor of Annemarie I will enjoy every bit of my time with my friends and in honor of Bubba I will laugh until I pee my pants (and if you know me, you know this is quiet possible. )
Live life to the fullest today regardless of what it may bring you.
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